finals | well, i think you're cute

I’m not going to lie, Calvin really understands me. His genius proves that he has a thorough grasp on how the real world handles school work. And so, in light of finals coming up, I’d like to impart some of the wisdom that I’ve gained in the past 3.5 years of college on my readers. Here it is:

The DOs and DON’Ts of Finals:

DO review your notes.
DON’T highlight everything in different colors, pretending that you’re color-coding, but really just making an effort to make your paper look pretty.

DO take the time to make sure each marking you make on your test obviously indicates your selected answer.
DON’T make your scantron sheet look like a Christmas Tree.

DO take short breaks from studying often to refresh your mind.
DON’T take short breaks from facebook to study, then refresh the page again a minute later.

DO have healthy snacks throughout the studying process.
DON’T give yourself a piece of cake as a reward for reading each page.

DO blow off some steam by watching a movie or hanging out with friends until a reasonable hour.
DON’T party with your friends Jose Cuervo and Captain Morgan until 3:00am before beginning your paper.

DO check on youtube for visual examples of some topics you may be studying (works well for science!).
DON’T accidentally click over to the sponsored/featured video of One Direction’s latest hit.

DO tidy up your study area to limit distractions.
DON’T clean the entire apartment, do all your laundry, scrub the floors, rearrange the kitchen, reorganize your desk drawers, etc.

DO schedule out study time or craft a few goals to help keep you on target.
DON’T waste half an hour creating a sticky note or dry erase hourly schedule that you won’t end up following. (As you’ll see, I clearly did both.)

DO find a quiet place to study without music or idle chatter.
DON’T go to the library if you’re just going to put Pandora on your headphones and lipsync to Spice World.

DO get a good night’s sleep.
DON’T take a four hour nap in the middle of the day.

DO get some exercise.
DON’T count jogging between the fridge and your computer as exercise.

DO try meditating or yoga to calm your nerves.
DON’T hurt yourself while pretending you can cross both legs on top of each other like they do in movies about gurus.

DO stay hydrated.
DON’T pretend that Pepsi, coffee or 5 Hour Energy will hydrate you.

DO check out your grades ahead of time to know where you stand.
DON’T panic when you realize that even if you ace the test you can’t get over a B in the class.

DO bring both pencils and pens to the test.
DON’T freak out when it breaks in the middle of the test and you have to bend down and look in your bag to get a new one and you’re petrified that the teacher is going to think you’re cheating and oh my god, you’ve only got forty minutes left and your teacher thinks you’re a cheat and your pencil is still broken OH MY GOD YOU’RE SWEATING SO BADLY. It’ll be okay.

DO actually study.
DON’T waste your time making blog posts that people are too busy studying to read.

Good luck on finals, kids. May the odds be ever in your favor.